At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
