i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
