It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
