Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Randomize
