last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
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she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
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My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
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