im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
