Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
