When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
