You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize