In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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