You were right. It hurts to walk today.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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