Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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