oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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