I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Randomize
