you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
