I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
