so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
