Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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