What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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