last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
The feeling are messing with the penis
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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