I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
