I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
she looked like the before picture.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
