His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
