New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Holy sore nipples Batman
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
