I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize