just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
