I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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