Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
