It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
