I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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