before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
