nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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