16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
