there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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