Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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