he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.