I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
What changed your mind?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.