Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.