Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
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I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
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Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.