i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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