we're blogging at a bar
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
