I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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