i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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