So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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