New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
