People with herpes should wear stickers.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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