She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
try to milk me bitch
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