I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
