If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
