Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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