You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
