she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
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