My hand turned me down
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Randomize
