Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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