He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
