And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
