You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
pop tarts are not kleenex
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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