her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
