He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
