Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
i believe in u and ur pee
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
